10 Tips for parents
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As parents, we often find ourselves frustrated when our kids don’t follow instructions. But what if we looked at it differently? According to Dr. Dan Siegel’s whole-brain perspective, children’s ability to listen and follow directions is deeply connected to how their brains are wired. The key is to engage both the logical (left) and emotional (right) sides of the brain while also strengthening connections between the upstairs (thinking) and downstairs (reactive) brain. Here are 10 practical tips, backed by neuroscience, to make following instructions easier for your child.
1. 🗣️Use Clear and Simple Language for kids to follow instructions.
🔹 Why it works: The developing brain processes simple, direct language more effectively.
🔹 Try this: Instead of saying, “Please go to your room and bring me the blue book on the top shelf of your bookcase,” say, “Go get your blue book from your shelf.”
🔹 Brain insight: This engages the left brain’s logic without overwhelming it.
2. 🏃♂️Provide Visual Cues on how to follow instructions.
🔹 Why it works: Visual processing helps reinforce verbal instructions.
🔹 Try this: Use a picture chart for morning routines (e.g., brush teeth, put on shoes).
🔹 Brain insight: The right brain (visual and emotional) works alongside the left brain (logical understanding), creating a stronger memory.
3. 🪜Break Following Instructions into Manageable Steps
🔹 Why it works: Children’s working memory is still developing, so too many instructions at once can overwhelm them.
🔹 Try this: Instead of saying, “Clean your room,” break it down: 1) Pick up toys. 2) Make your bed. 3) Put clothes in the hamper.
🔹 Brain insight: This supports executive function development in the prefrontal cortex.
4. 🫸Offer Positive Reinforcement when followed instructions.
🔹 Why it works: Encouragement activates the brain’s reward system, reinforcing good behavior.
🔹 Try this: “Great job putting your shoes away without being asked. That was responsible!”
🔹 Brain insight: Praise releases dopamine, making it more likely the behavior will be repeated.
5.👂 Practice Active Listening
🔹 Why it works: When children feel heard, they’re more likely to listen in return.
🔹 Try this: Ask them to repeat what you said: “What do you need to do before dinner?”
🔹 Brain insight: This builds the neural pathways for attention and comprehension.
6. 🕛🕧Use ‘First/Then’ Statements
🔹 Why it works: Helps children understand sequencing and priorities.
🔹 Try this: “First, finish your homework. Then, you can go outside.”
🔹 Brain insight: Engages both logic (left brain) and impulse control (prefrontal cortex).
7.🏓 Engage in Interactive Games
🔹 Why it works: Play strengthens brain connections in a stress-free way.
🔹 Try this: Games like “Simon Says” or “Red Light, Green Light” reinforce listening skills.
🔹 Brain insight: The downstairs brain (impulses) learns to connect with the upstairs brain (self-regulation).
8. 🙏Encourage Self-Advocacy
🔹 Why it works: Builds confidence and problem-solving skills.
🔹 Try this: Teach them to ask, “Can you explain that another way?”
🔹 Brain insight: Strengthens connections between emotional regulation and logical thinking.
9. 🏵️Create a Routine
🔹 Why it works: Predictability helps children’s brains feel safe and in control.
🔹 Try this: Have a set schedule for bedtime, meals, and homework.
🔹 Brain insight: Routines strengthen neural pathways, making tasks feel automatic.
10. 🤗Be Patient and Consistent
🔹 Why it works: Learning takes time, and repetition strengthens brain connections.
🔹 Try this: If your child forgets an instruction, calmly remind them instead of getting frustrated.
🔹 Brain insight: A calm, supportive approach helps keep the brain in a regulated state, making learning easier.
By using these whole-brain strategies, we create a nurturing environment that supports our children’s ability to listen, process, and act on instructions more effectively.
Read more: Kids to Follow Instructions